Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Look What the Cat Drug In! New Coach Entering RUTS for Season 4??

In news that has yet to be confirmed by RUTS Officials or the athletic directors at Georgia or Florida, there are rumors swirling that either the Bulldogs or the Gators will have a new head coach starting this offseason. Coach CottonHeadedNinnyMuggins (official name to be determined) has been in discussions with both teams and is reportedly researching their current rosters, trying to determine the best fit for his dynamic Wild Elf offense, which shredded defenses at the high school level once upon a time.

 Coach CottonHeadedNinnyMuggins is looking to establish himself right away as a force in RUTS and sent a shot across the SEC bough via Twitter earlier this week.

@CottonHeadedNinnyMuggins Looking forward to taking my talents to RUTS3, where I shall rule with speed, efficiency, unmatched wit and an uncamnny ability to spread Christmas cheer.

Stay tuned to the blog for late breaking news on where this new RUTS Coach might land at season's end.

RUTS3 Reaches Milestone

This week, two big things happened to the RUTS3 community!
We reached 20,000 hits on our blog/website, and also Coach EBDial has done it...he's finally led the beloved Tennessee Vols back into the Top 25 for the first time in RUTS3 history. The Vols enter week 5 ranked #18 in the Coaches Poll.

Here is a look at the rest of the Top 25:
1. Alabama
2. LSU
3. Pittsburgh (cpu)
4. Ohio State
5. Georgia (cpu)
7. North Carolina
8. Oklahoma
10. Notre Dame
18. Tennessee

Friday, December 17, 2010

To Infinity & Beyond! Week 3 Pits National Title Game Rematch

In a rematch of the season 2 National Championship Game, the #2 Alabama Crimson Tide and the #3 Oklahoma Sooners lock horns tonight in Norman. The Sooners won last year's title game 34-31, and Bama Coach StuBucksman has made it no secret that he has never defeated Coach utvol27 in a college football game.

However, after LSU and Coach cjohnchavis defeated Coach UTVOL54 for the first time in RUTS history in week 2, Coach StuBucksman thinks anything is possible.

"We are coming into this game with a full head of steam," he said. "Trent is running harder than ever, and we are 100% sure that we can run the football on Oklahoma. I hope our receivers can make some plays down field to keep their safeties out of the box."

"Sch'yeah right," scoffed Coach utvol27. "Trent is a great back, maybe the best all-around running back college football has seen since I coached CJ Spiller, James Davis, Blake Miller at Clemson. Coach Stu has been the wandering gypsy of RUTS, traveling from team to team in an effort to beat me. Ain't happened before, sho' aint happenin' now."

Sensing the mounting tension, the NCAA stepped in this week and issued a mandatory cease-fire of words between the two rambunctious coaches. NCAA President Mark Emmert called a press conference early this morning at the Super 8 Motel in Norman, OK, where both coaches met up to shake hands, while wearing what Emmert called the costumes of champions. Coach utvol27 in a Woody costume. Coach Stu in Buzz Lightyear gear. To symbolize that one-time enemies can, indeed, become friends.

In an even more surprising move, Emmert announced that NFL referee and legitimate beast, Ed Hoculi, would serve as head referee for tonight's game, just in case the two coaches tried any monkey business.

"Hocules" called it the "honor of his life" to referee this game and got teary-eyed as he walked to the podium.

The two coaches awkwardly stood in front of dozens of reporters who snapped photo after photo of the trio.

"I was a little surprised in Ed's lack of height," said Coach utvol27. "But having him on the same field as me would make him appear small anyway."

Coach Stu, sporting a very questionable and slightly un-manly goatee, was visibly pissed after being made to dress up in a costume other than his Burger King outfit. Walking off the podium, Stu scoffed, "the NCAA got one thing right. "Just like in Toy Story, Buzz Lightyear will fly into town and take out the has-been, old toy. Coach utvol27 is that old toy, and I will take him out once and for all."

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Season 3 - Week 2 Scoreboard


Two of our user games saw three point margins edge of your seat excitement. LSU and Ohio State provided a good ole' fashioned, smashmouth defensive contest, while North Carolina and Miami settled a shootout with a field goal.

A look back at the Week 2 action:

  • Tigers finally roar
Defense and Ware seal the deal

#1 LSU - 27
#4 Ohio State - 24

Players of the Game:

HB Spencer Ware - 21 carries, 167 yards, 3 TD
LB Alex Harrison - 4 Tackles, 3 INT

  • Tide rolls Irish
Richardson appear unstoppable, Tide claims "kingship"

#2 Alabama - 71
#9 Notre Dame - 10

Player of the Game:

HB Trent Richardson - 25 carries, 313 yards, 5 TD

  • Bye Bye Sparty
Sooners dominate again with Defense

#3 Oklahoma - 56
#16 Michigan St. - 7

Player of the Game:

HB Roy Finch - 7 Carries, 137 yards, 1 TD
  • The Defense Rests
Heels win shootout by a foot

#10 Miami -42
#14 North Carolina - 45

Player of the Game:

K Casey "Captain Ginger" Barth - Game Winning FG as time expires
  • Bombs A'Bray
Junior Signal Caller puts up Ponder-like Passing Numbers

Tennessee -56
#25 Washington St. -33

Player of the Game:

QB Tyler "Toothpick" Bray - 21 of 57, 536 yards, 7 TD, 2 INT

Players of the Week:

Alabama HB Trent Richardson - 25 carries, 313 yards, 5 TD
Dominating Performance sets record for RUTS User game

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ohio State Students Dry Their Tears...With Song & Dance

This morning, in an impromptu display of talent, students at THE Ohio State University got over the "we just lost to LSU" blues the only way they knew how...with song and dance. Even the University President Gordon Gee got into the act.

"We felt this was the best way to shake out of the doldrums and ring in "Tennessee Week," said Gee. "We only wish that Coach UTVol54 was here to participate."

Coach UTVol54 was stuck in the film room, instead, dissecting just how in the world his team managed to commit three red zone turnovers against the Tigers. On to Tennessee...

Monday, December 13, 2010

Let the Valley Shake

Tigers Upset Buckeyes in Death Valley

Baton Rouge, LA - Fans packed Nicholson Dr in Baton Rouge, and Bourbon St in New Orleans until the wee hours of the morning as the LSU Tigers held on for a dramatic 27-24 victory over the Ohio State Buckeyes Saturday night.

Coming out in their "White Tiger" uniforms for the second straight game this season, LSU took the opening kickoff and drove the field to the 14 yard line for a 31 yard Josh Jasper FG. On the following drive, on the Buckeyes' first play from scrimmage, JUCO Transfer and LSU Sophomore LB Alex Harrison intercepted a Kenny Guiton pass to set up another Josh Jasper field goal, this time from 20 yards.

Ohio State answered shortly after the change of the quarter. A fourth down conversion early in the drive allowed Devin Barclay to punch a 50 yard field goal through the uprights, and cut the lead in half. Ohio State mounted a drive to answer, however, Harrison leaped and pulled in another Guiton pass for an interception. LSU followed with the "StuBucksman TM" score right before halftime when HB Spencer Ware knifed through the line for a touchdown run with 17 seconds remaining in the half. Ohio State got as far as the LSU 40 yard line on the following drive, however, Guiton was sacked, and a last ditch pass fell short in the endzone, giving LSU a 13-3 lead at the half.

The third quarter would belong to the Buckeyes. Guiton engineered a long drive coming out of the locker room, and connected with WR Duron Carter for a 21-yard touchdown pass with 4:31 to go in the 3rd. The LSU 13-10 lead was short-lived as Buckeye LB Jordan Whiting intercepted a Cameron Treangen pass and took it into the endzone to give Ohio State the lead.

Coach cjohnchavis huddled his team on the sideline and screamed for them asking for "physicality." "I had seen this look in my team's eyes before. I saw it in Tuscaloosa, I saw it in Columbus. I wasn't going to let them fold in the face of adversity again." said cjohnchavis. Treangen led the Tigers on a long scoring drive behind big runs by Shannon Scott and Spencer Ware. "Our guys up front, really started to take over, they set the tone. And Shannon and Spencer just ran plain hard" said Treangen. Treagen was noticeably animated when he connected with freshman wideout Bryan Abrams on a 3rd down pass. Ware finished the drive with another 4 yard touchdown run to give the Tiger the 20-17 lead.

Ohio State looked poised to answer. A long drive took the game into the 4th quarter on the strength of big plays from Guiton and a fourth down conversion. Guiton picked up chunks of yards scrambling to his left and finding receivers open along the sideline. "We had a good plan for him, confused him a little bit, but he really stressed our defense with his scrambling" said Tiger Defensive Coordinator Johnny Chavis.

Early in the 4th quarter, down 20-17, the Buckeyes drove inside the LSU 20 yard line twice before committing two devastating turnovers. On one, LSU DE Chancey Aghayere hit Guiton as he released the ball and LSU LB Alex Harrison alertly scooped it out of midair.

That momentum proved to be short lived for LSU. Ohio State was the beneficiary of a Cameron Treangen fumble inside Tiger territory, and once again, the Buckeyes had the ball, down 20-17 early in the 4th quarter. The Buckeyes drove inside the LSU 15 yard line again before yet another critcal mistake by Kenny Guiton. A Guiton pass was tipped by Anthony "Freak" Johnson, and fell into the waiting arms of Alex Harrison. It was the Sophomore's third interception of the day, and swung momentum back in favor of the Tigers.

Spencer Ware takes one to the house, which proved to be the game winning TD for LSU.
LSU RB Spencer Ware rode that momentum, and a pair of broken tackles, all the way into the endzone two plays later. The 72 yard touchdown run put LSU up 27-17 with 3:59 to play.

Eric Reid's leaping INT summed up the day for

With nearly 4 minutes left to play, the Buckeyes weren't giving up. They drove back inside the LSU redzone before yet another deadly decision by the usually reliable Kenny Guiton. This time, a leaping Eric Reid (LSU nickleback) picked off the errant Guiton pass at the 5 yard line, and for the third time in the 4th quarter, the Buckeyes were held scoreless after driving inside the red zone. Momentum, back to LSU!

Ohio State was able to make things interesting. They forced an LSU punt, and with less than 2 minutes remaining, Guiton led the Buckeyes down the field, finally connecting on a touchdown pass to TE Jake Stoneburner with 1:28 to play. LSU led 27-24, and the nervous crowd awaited the onside kick.

The Onside kick was recovered by the Tigers, and the clock struck zero following two Spencer Ware runs, setting off a wild scene in Tiger stadium. The Student section poured onto the field causing a fence to collapse in the corner of the endzone. Fans surrounded the cage of Mikey, a white tiger on loan from the Sigfried and Roy show. Goalposts were carried down Nicholson Dr and an impromptu pep rally and bon fire started in the empty field in front of Walk-Ons. Many fans remained until morning, some sleeping on abandoned tailgating couches.

Coach StuBucksman Steals LSU/OSU Thunder...Signs New Endorsement Deal

On the night of the biggest RUTS game of the season, Alabama Coach StuBucksman has one-upped the Tigers and Buckeyes, announcing that he has signed an endorsement deal with BK to become the new Burger King.

Given his love for Chick Fil-A, fast-food fanatics were in shock as Coach Stu made the announcement. With Adam Lambert's "If I Had You" blaring in the background, Coach Stu stepped to the podium wearing the redesigned Burger King outfit.

Coach Stu, always the pioneer, led the way in being the first and only head football coach to sign an endorsement deal last season when he signed a lucrative deal with Keds Sports. Now, he's taking his talents to the fine dining industry. in addition to getting to lay on fine bear skin rugs and put sunscreen on lucky ladies at the beach.

It's unclear as of now whether or not he will be allowed to wear the costume during RUTS games, but the coach insisted that he "will definitely be wearing it on the field during pre-game warmups" starting with his team's week 3 game at Oklahoma.

Baton Rouge Gears Up for Showdown

Baton Rouge, LA - As is their way, LSU fans got out early this week to prepare for a top contest. Campus policy dictates that fans not be allowed in parking area until 5 PM on Friday, however, RV's and cars lined the streets, and others camped in tents Thursday night, preparing for the much anticipated contest with #4 Ohio State.

The campus also remains abuzz for the return of heralded coach UTVOL54. Coach UTVOL54 captained the Tigers back in the days of RUTS1. Many fans are looking forward to his return, however the mood is mixed. "He always handled himself with class, and delivered a title." said Marcus Marceaux, a senior in logistics. "%&@^ coach UTVOL54, $%$^ him. Seriously, that guy jumps for the NFL about 3 seconds after winning the title. Then he expects us to let his infant son coach? What a tool." Said Sam Huffman, a freshman in English. Tiger fans even burned a replica coach UTVOL54 in effigy.

The Mood is tense among the students as well. A pizza shortage has occurred due to the influx of vistors to campus. One particularly ugly moment was captured by cellphone:

In response many LSU student conducted a flash rave:

However, tailgating still is in full swing as Tiger Stadium readies itself for the clash.

Ohio State Punter Guarantees Victory over #1 LSU

Week 2 of Season 3 features three big head-to-head match-ups, including #2 Alabama hosting #9 Notre Dame and #10 Miami traveling to Chapel Hill to battle #14 North Carolina. But, the headline game of the week is the ever-intriguing match-up between Coach cjohnchavis and Coach UTVol54, as the #1 LSU Tigers host #4 Ohio State in Tiger Stadium at 8pm tonight.

Coach cjohnchavis has yet to defeat a UTVOL54 coached team (save for a preseason RUTS2 scrimmage), and many experts are predicting this might be the year he lifts his top-ranked Tigers past the Buckeyes.

"Not so fast," says Ohio State punter Ben Buchanan.

Buchanan, a RS Sophomore who has yet to step onto the field in a Buckeye uniform called out the Tigers while walking past a group of reporters this week.

What the Hair?!

"These Tigers will not beat us," he said. "I have watched very RUTS3 Ohio State game from the best seat in the house, my 50 yard line bench seat, and I can tell you that this team will not be defeated tonight. I have it on good authority that our team isn't even worried about this game. We're really pumped to host Tennessee next week though...those orange pants are nice...real nice."

Buchanan struts his stuff walking to practice, his daily "3 hours of relaxation"

Buchanan went on to criticize the Tigers ankle-sock, hand warmer wearing QB, Cameron Traengen, calling him "the biggest douchebag to wear a football uniform since Matt Leinert's football career ended." Buchanan went on, "I mean, you're playing at Miami, in September, week 1 of the season, and that dude is wearing a hand warmer....a purple handwarmer. 'Yes We Cam?' More like....'no, you won't be able to' with this dude touching your center's butt before every play."

Cam's Week 1 Attire

When asked if his comments might strike a nerve with the angry bunch of Tigers, Buchanan balked. "They won't see me on the field, why should I be scared? I know some of their players wish they were on our sideline with me, wearing red and black, but this week's game is going to leave them helpless. We have the better team, and I have better hair than their entire roster combined." 

Coach StuBucksman agrees:

This week's game will also be a special one for Buckeyes Coach UTVOL54, as he returns to the stadium and campus where he coached for 5 seasons in RUTS1, leading the Tigers to 1 National Title, 4 SEC titles, and several choke jobs in big games. LSU fans are expected to give him a round of applause during pre-game warmups. But that hospitality will end once the ball is kicked off and this game gets underway.

This game should be a tight battle, with both teams' defenses leading the charge, and look for this game to come down to a Buckeyes field goal. if  LSU's top secret plan of injuring OSU starting Kicker/Punter Devin Barclay comes to fruition, then attempting that game winning FG will be none other than Ben "hair gel" Buchanan, himself. Who will have the last laugh?!

Coach EBDial takes over playcalling

Promises Big Numbers, More Wins

Knoxville, TN - Following Tennessee's 64-28 victory over the Arizona Wildcats on Saturday, one thing was certain: a change had occurred with the Volunteer offense. "We really have a lot of talent at the skill positions, and Tyler is starting to come into his own. He used to be like, you know, one of the Germans at Normandy. He'd be like 'the invasion is coming.' Here comes the boats, they’re coming. You have the binoculars, and it’s like, they're coming... You had the other group, and they go, ‘Wait a minute, they told us the invasion was way further north,’ where we had the empty tanks and we were hiding Patton out. ‘We weren’t ready for this, now what do we do?’ ‘We better wait until Rommel tells us what to do.’ "

Bray did indeed look more prepared in this season's opener. Without departed RB Tauren Poole, the Vols went to the air early and often. Bray attempted 43 passes, connected on 28 of them for 508 yards and 5 TD. This type of passing yardage has not been seen at Tennessee since the days of Peyton Manning. "We have a lot of weapons, and we intend to use them."

The Vols will face off against Washington State in week 2. The Cougars boast their own air raid offense, so expect numbers to be through the roof.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Season 3 - Week 1 Scoreboard

Tigers, Sooners notch victories in Top 10 User Battles

Week one saw user victories by #2 LSU and #3 Oklahoma, both of whom were on the road for a top 10 battle. Meanwhile, Trent Richardson kicked off his Heisman campaign with a 5 TD performance. Richardson looks to be challenged this year by Tyler Bray of Tennessee, who passed for over 500 yards, and Theo "Razor" Riddick of Notre Dame, who notched 193 yards rushing.

A look back at the week of RUTS games:

  • Tide has too many horses for the Broncos
Richardson runs over, around and through Boise State.

#1 Alabama - 66
#16 Boise State -3

Player of the Game:
HB Trent Richardson - 19 carries, 143 yards, 5 TD

  • Will Chase? Hurricanes still chasing him
Third string running back makes big impact with big runs

#2 LSU - 31
#5 Miami - 21

Player of the Game:
HB Will Chase - 10 carries, 147 yards, 2 TD
  • First Half Defense Keys Sooner's Win
Sooners spread the ball around in dominating victory

#3 Oklahoma - 35
#10 North Carolina - 14

Player of the Game:
HB Roy Finch - 3 Carries, 81 yards, 1 TD

  • Jordan Takes Flight
Early scoring burst allows Buckeyes to showcase young talent

#4 Ohio State - 70
#11 Stanford -7

Player of the Game:
WR Ayres Jordan - 6 catches, 175 yards, 2 TD

  • Irish Fight Off Knights
Irish maintain lead by a Razor's edge

#12 Notre Dame - 38
#19 Rutgers -27

Player of the Game:
RB Theo "Razor" Riddick - 31 caries, 193 yards, 1 TD

  • Bray Here to Play
Junior signal caller slings it with the best of them

Tennessee - 64
Arizona -28

Players of the Game:
QB Tyler Bray - 28 of 43, 506 yards, 5 TD, 2 INT
WR DaRick Rogers - 9 catches, 209 yards, 3 TD
WR Dedrick Johnson - 9 catches, 201 yards, 2 TD

Players of the Week:

LSU HB Will Chase - 10 Carries, 147 yards, 2 TD
Second half runs of 66 and 51 yards put Tigers ahead by 2 scores

Gameday Tries Out Replacement Host; Previews RUTS Games

Coral Gables, FL - After ESPN announced an "Urban Meyer/Michael Jordan" type trial retirement for Lee Corso, a nationwide search was completed for a replacement that would bring the same level of "knowledge" but also the unconventional flair that coach Corso brought each week. When Gameday traveled to South Beach for the top 5 clash between LSU and Miami, a former Sportscenter tryout got his big shot. Gameday producer Steve Heedmen stated "we wanted someone humorous, unique, and whose head would be big enough to hold up the mascot heads."

The crew took a look at the openers for RUTS3 Season 3.

NR Tennessee v. Arizona

Tennessee look to replace HB Tauren Poole, who accounted for most of their offensive production last season. In his place is Fulmer/Kiffen recruit David Oku who has waited his turn in line and finally has a place at the table. Oku has promised to do #27 proud and run out of bounds as much as possible, leaving numerous yards on the field, and to fumble in crucial situations. "I've seen by doing that, you can really take the NFL by storm, and that has always been my goal." said Oku.

Oku and the Vols should take the Wildcats by storm. Neyland stadium is geared up for a return to serious SEC Contention, and Gameday predicts a 45-33 win for the Vols.

#12 Notre Dame v. Rutgers

New Irish coach zeejaydee begins his career at Notre Dame against the state school of New Jersey. Coach zeejaydee has promised to bring his "Zach attach" offense to South Bend this season, a promised a "fast return to the top 10." The Irish are expected to rely on RB Theo "Razor" Riddick to lead the offensive attack, and to punch holes in the Rutgers defense.

Rutgers hangs tough, but the Irish pull away at the end. Gameday predicts a 40-21 victory for Notre Dame.

#1 Alabama v. Boise State

Trent Richardson finally has the backfield all to himself. R
ichardson, who came to Alabama because "their hat had the most swagger." Now finds himself a leading Heisman candidate for the top rated Crimson Tide.

Standing is his way week one are the Boise State Broncos. While Herbstreet put Bama on "upset alert," the new host proclaimed "that's just dumb." A new "not-so-fast-my-friend?" Regardless, the Tide rolls.

#4 Ohio State v. Stanford

With "Boom" Herron gone, the Buckeyes look to Kenny Guiton to lead the way in the backfield, bolstered by back to back #1 recruiting classes and Running Back Jammal Berry. Coach UTVOL54 promises that the classes will pay off, and that he will shed the title "Mr. February" and replace it with a new title: Champ.

Stanford is out of Luck in this contest... Literally... No longer led by QB Andrew Luck, the Cardinal should be no contest on the road. The Buckeyes win going away and look forwar
d to their trip to the Bayou next week, where coach UTVOL54 used to roam the sidelines.


#3 Oklahoma at #10 North Carolina

A battle of the top returning QB's statistically from last season, the Sooner bring Landry Jones to the Tarheel State to face off against North Carolina and Heisman Candidate Bryn Renner. Gameday looks for a shootout here. The Sooners have better talent up and down the line. However, the Tarheels come out with something to prove following a disappointing loss in last season SEC Championship Game.

With a BCS Bowl on their mind, Carolina will take to the air early and often with Bryn Renner. However, the OU Defense holds firm. Gameday takes the Sooners, in a close one.

#2 LSU at #5 Miami

Gameday is in Coral Gables for this top 5 showdown, one that Fowler promises will be a "doosie." Both team will debut new starting QB's as AJ Highsmith replaces Jacory Harris for the Hurricanes. The Hurricane come in looking to build on last season's top 10 finish.

LSU coach cjohnchavis has stayed mum of his choice for starting QB, though conventional
wisdom is that talent Sophomore Cameron Treangen will win the job over Zach Lee.

Rumor swirl that LSU will be wearing their "White Tiger" uniform, that have only been worn against Mississippi State. Coach Stinvol has stated "I don't care what uniforms they wear, they can come out naked for all I care, we are still gonna be the U."

And the new Gameday host picks...

LSU Fans like the pick

Bama Tops Preseason Poll; Season 3 Looms Large

ESPN the Magazine released its "POWER 16" today and the magazine went to print nationwide with Alabama Quarterback A.J. McCarron gracing the cover. Six RUTS teams were named to the preseason Top 10, with the first five spots being filled by RUTS controlled squads. The magazine features stories on RUTS QB's McCarron and Landry Jones of Oklahoma.

The ESPN "Style Guide" presented by Jesse Palmer's hair gel discusses the pros and cons of Bama Bangs and whether the "Cromp-stach" is taking over as the facial hair of choice for today's QB. An expose also digs into coach cjohnchavis's fits of rage following continued losses to the Haag clan.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Players Report to Campus for Two-A-Days

Alabama WRs Michael Bowman and Kendall Kelly run routes at the Tide's "Midnight Madness" practice. Both players will look to lead a young, inexperienced crop of receivers this season.

LSU garnered the nation's #2 recruiting class last off-season, and according to Coach cjohnchavis, the 2012 season is the "Year of the White Tiger"...but reporters were a little underwhelmed by the way a few of the heralded recruits looked upon reporting to fall camp. Luckily, the Cam Train is still rolling in Baton Rouge.

Oklahoma QB Landry Jones showed up to fall camp with a "Fresh'stache," as he called it. Jones declares not to shave it until the Sooners lose another game. The Sooners lock horns with #1 Alabama in week 3...so could there be a baby faced Landry coming soon?

Ohio State raked in what some experts call the "best recruiting class of all time" this off-season. Despite being listed as backups, two of Ohio State's freshmen phenoms, QB Michael Cade (#2) and WR Blaze Williams (#1) have wowed teammates with their talent in the Bucks' 1st week of fall camp.

Replacing a Cane legend is never easy, but senior QB A.J. Highsmith looks to be the right man for the job. Highsmith replaces Jacory Harris behind center as the #5 Canes look to make a push for a national title.

After spending the past two seasons at Oregon, Notre Dame's new head coach, zeejaydee, was a little bit surprised to see how elderly and white his new team looked...until the Irish squad hit the gridiron for its first scrimmage, where QB Dayne Crist and WR Shaquelle Evans knifed through the Irish defense with the precision of two ninja warriors.

Learn the name....Bryn Renner! One of the frontrunners for this year's Heisman Trophy, Renner leads a uber talented Tarheel offense into the season.

RB David Oku (#27) leads a Volunteer team that is looking to return to a bowl game for the first time in RUTS3. The Vols start the season off with two west coast foes (Arizona & Washington State) and are looking to get 2 wins out of the gate.

Season 3 Schedules Announced

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

LSU's "Do it All" Athletes battle for QB Job

Baton Rouge, LA - As LSU's Purple and Gold Game nears, the QB controversy on the Bayou has not yet cleared up. Tigers coach cjohnchavis went into spring practice unwilling to chose a starter between redshirt sophomore Zach Lee and sophomore Cameron Treangen.

Complicating the matter is the lack of reps for both players. Zach Lee, who spurned a $5 Million offer from the LA Dodgers, has missed several practices while pitching for the Tiger baseball team. However Treangen, who is the Tigers' leading returning passer, has been splitting time at WR, where he had 49 receptions for 1204 yards last season.

Treangen developed a cult following on campus after appearing in the Mississippi State game in the Tiger's all-white-is-alright uniforms, and scoring a rushing TD against the Bulldogs. Treangen was given the nickname "Cam-Train" after running over a Florida Gator defender for a touchdown the following week. Treangen, wears #18 because he is the most physical white guy on offense in the spirit of Jacob Hester and Richard Dickson. Tigers students have taken on the Sophomore as a psuedo-cult hero. One student has even created the "Cam-Can Dance," while others have taken the motto "Yes we Cam" and created homemade signs.

Coach cjohnchavis is mum on the subjected headed into the spring game, but has stated that Treangen will likely see some time at WR when Lee is a QB. "The loss of Randle and Shepard to the NFL really hurt us at wide receiver. We have Bryan Abrams coming in, but Cam is really the only guy at wideout with any big game experience."

Thursday, December 2, 2010

NCAA Clears Sooners, Coach utvol27 of Violations

In a shocking turn of events this afternoon, Oklahoma's football program, just 1 day after winning the season 2 national championship, has been notified by the NCAA that they are cleared of any violations or wrongdoing.

Coach utvol27 informed a crowd of thousands at the Sooners' Victory  Parade today that he received word that the NCAA investigation is over and that everyone should rest easy and "Cel-a-brate Good Times, Come on!"

After the (kind of weird) parade, reporters flocked to their desks to retrieve a comment from the NCAA. Unfortunately, according to the office voice mail answering service, the entire NCAA staff was on vacation in Newnan, Georgia visiting the Holy Zion Center of Deliverance Resort, Bar and Grill, and its innovative owner Cecil Newton.However, the RUTS PR staff did receive a copy of the fax that Oklahoma received this morning:

When asked for comment, all seven of the other RUTS coaches cried out:

The "South Bend Shovel Slayer" Returns Home

At a press conference this morning on the campus of Notre Dame, a local icon returned back to his stomping grounds. Coach zeejaydee, known by locals as the "South Bend Shovel Slayer," confirmed rumors that had been making waves on national radio shows all week...he is leaving Oregon to accept the head coaching position at Notre Dame.

Coach Zeejaydee gives the attending media members his "blue steel" glare upon being introduced as the Fighting Irish's new head coach

The coach leaves Oregon after two successful seasons, finishing #4 last season and #11 this season. But the call to "come back home," zeejaydee said, was too strong to keep him quacking with the Ducks. "I have dreamed all season of returning to my snow shoveling days in South Bend," he said. "There is nothing like waking up on a freezing cold morning in South Bend, shoveling snow, salting the sidewalks, killing people and using the salt to turn the bodies into mummies. And I also am excited about coaching the Fighting Irish too."

The "fake" South Bend Shovel Slayer

Of course, zeejaydee is referring to the notoriety he received while living in South Bend and the Chicago area in the early 1990s. The legend of the South Bend Shovel Slayer was even made more famous when John Hughes parodied zeejaydee's legend in the movie classic, Home Alone.

Now, beginning in season 3 of RUTS3, Coach zeejaydee will be the new head coach of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, joining former USC Coach Lane Kiffin (fired in season 1) as the second head coaching change in RUTS3.

Coach zeejaydee is excited about leading the Irish back to prominence and is looking forward to a "stress free uniform selection process," something that highly influenced his decision to jump ship to Notre Dame. "Honestly, the week to week grind of picking my team's uniforms at Oregon wore on me," he said. "I am thrilled and a little bit giddy to have only 1 alternate jersey to choose from this coming season."

"Cross this off the bucket list," the Irish's new head coach shouted as he touched the famous sign.

Those are fighting words for the fans zeejaydee is leaving behind at Oregon, and it will be interesting to see how much hostility the team and its fans carry with them when Oregon and Notre Dame meet next season.