Coach utvol27's statements at media day before the 2013 BCS title game:
"It's on like Donkey Kong!!! Why Donkey Kong you ask? Easy, it's obviously the second best Nintendo game, behind Super Tecmo Bowl. But also Donkey Kong because we some Wild Boyzzz! We are gonna be like rabid gorillas out there Monday, just like Donkey Kong!! Don't ask about the first game vs. the Tiggers this season. Fluke, that's all. We also didn't show our full scheme against them. We've got an ace up our sleeve for this game. They have no idea what's about to come crashing down on them. Let's just say that what we have planned vs. LSU will baffle them more than those sudoku puzzles. The pain's coming, and LSU will leave Miami weeping and smelling like burnt corndogs. I'm going to go ahead and apologize to ABC/ESPN for the blowout this will be. I don't want to intentionally hurt their ratings. It will just be a byproduct of the on-field beatdown. We're gonna get out 5th ring, no doubt about it! The Wild Boyz are rowdy, ready, and rambumcious! It's on like Donkey Kong, let's take it outside!"
Coach utvol27 then stood up, broke the podium with a smashing elbow drop, ripped his shirt off, thus revealing two nipple pasties, and stormed off the stage. His players, shirtless as well, greeted him with raucous monkey-like dancing and yelling in the side room.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
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When asked to comment of utvol27's tirade, Coach UTVOL54 smugged and said:
"Sudoku doesn't puzzle me at all, as I don't play it. Donkey Kong sucks and is the most boring game to play in the history of video games. It's only fun to play it when waiting to visit the dentist in the waiting room area. And, nipple pasties are the most homosexual thing ever said at a National Title game press conference! Go ahead and take it outside...we'll be waiting!"
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