Monday, September 8, 2008

Week 4 Game Previews

Gators Head to Rocky Top, Will Not Debut New Uniforms
Tim Tebow leads the Florida Gators into Knoxville for its annual SEC East showdown with rival Tennessee. Both teams enter the game 2-0. Florida, coming off an open week, will be looking to repeat last year's 59-20 victory over the Volunteers, while 2008 Heisman hopeful, and last year's Heisman winner, Tim Tebow looks to lead the Gators to its third straight victory of the season. Contrary to popular Internet rumor, the Gators will not be debuting their new JORT football pants in Knoxville this week. Gator fans, on the other hand, will be sure to be wearing them!

'Something To Prove' for both Tigers and Bulldogs
Both Georgia and Clemson say they have something to prove heading into this Saturday's matchup at Clemson. The Tigers have scored 50-plus points in each of its three dominant wins this season, but feel slighted that they remain at #6 in the rankings. Georgia, on the other hand, looks to bounce back after back-to-back upset defeats against Florida State and South Carolina. This out-of-conference tilt should provide for a hostile environment, and Georgia QB Matthew Stafford will need to regain some confidence after throwing 7 interceptions against the Gamecocks last week. Stafford insists his sluggish performance against the Gamecocks had nothing to do with any off the field distractions, such as him being photographed spooning with a male friend at a NASCAR race in Talladega.

"No Way Jose": Spurrier not leaving Columbia
No. 13 ranked South Carolina's trip to Miami was already big. It's a barometer for how well the rising Gamecocks can handle success, after three relatively easy victories to start the season. However, after a picture of Gamecocks Head Coach Steve Spurrier recently surfaced with him wearing a Miami Hurricanes visor, the intensity of this game just hit record levels. Spurrier insists the picture was taken after a few too many Cosmos on the lake this summer. "Things got out of hand, I got a little tipsy. Can't the 'ol ball coach kick back and enjoy a fruity cocktail every once in a while?" But what about the Hurricanes visor? Spurrier insists it was only taken because he adores the South Beach lifestyle, and not because he has any interest in joining the Hurricanes' staff. Regardless of this back-story, you can bet that Spurrier will have the Gamecocks ready, even going as far as bringing "the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be" to a recent practice to fire up his squad. The Hurricanes, staying out of the limelight, hope the recent distractions and accolades thrown upon the Gamecocks will backfire and are looking forward to an upset in Miami this week.

In A Battle of Tigers, LSU to rely on conditioning to defeat rival Auburn
After last week's victory over the Seminoles in Tallahassee, and the ensuing Gatorade shower given to Coach Les Miles, the LSU Tigers were sent to the track to run laps. "Anytime someone does anything to do harm or create trauma to my white hat, they will pay," said an empathic Miles. "My players will learn to respect my white hat, and if they don't they'll keep running laps. We'll dang sure be ready to respect my hat by the time we take the field against Auburn.
Auburn picked up its first victory of the season on the road against Mississippi State last week and Coach Tommy Tuberville looks to build on the team's momentum again this week. The winner of this game will stake its claim to be the favorite to win the SEC West. The home team has won the past 12 meetings in this under-rated, hard hitting rivalry. Respect this rivalry, and the white hat!

Extra Hokie Power in Chapel Hill This Week
In a warm gesture of family love, Virginia Tech will allow three generations of its Hokie mascotMr. Hokie III, Mr. Hokie Jr. and Mr. Hokie, Sr. to travel with the team to Chapel Hill for its game against the North Carolina Tarheels. Always a characterization of power and glory, Mr. Hokie, III fits the standard of which all hokie bird have been defined.
"What we want with the mascot is one that will have personality and can be characterized for different sports. We want him to move, to live. He needs to convey power and strength while still being a turkey," says Head Coach Frank Beamer. Well said, coach! Well said indeed.
The Hokies are looking to start 2-0 in the ACC with a victory over the TarHeels before next week's long anticipated home game against South Carolina.

Seminoles Look to Secret Weapon in Game at Wake Forest
Florida State Head Coach Bobby Bowden revealed a secret that will utilize a secret weapon when his 'Noles open the ACC season on the road at Wake Forest. "Yes, we will be bringing the dumb blondes with us on the trip," said an excited Bowden. They will be the assigned ball girls on the Wake Forest sideline for both halves and one will be designated to retrieve the kicking tee after each kickoff." While acknowledging that the dumb blondes wouldn't be as quick or aggressive in their "tee retrieving" as the tee retriever at an SEC school, Bowden was confident that the blondes would help QB Christian Ponder lead the 'Noles to an upset victory over the #21 ranked Deamon Deacons.

9 comments:

The Nunley said...

That was incredible with the pictures and stuff. It wasn't cosmos it was Mike's Hard Lemonade. Spurrier loves those things.

ehaag said...

Ah yes, I forgot that the ol' ball coach is a Mike's Hard Lemonade man.
I had a few extra minutes to spare before the end of the work day yesterday...thus we got this insightful and informative week 4 preview.

SportsCenter Update---Clemson defeated Georgia 42-10 last night to move to 4-0 on the season and dopping previously #1 ranked UGA to 1-3. At this point, with such a difficult road ahead, the Bulldogs will need to circle the wagons and fight to become bowl eligible.

Anonymous said...

UH oh... you just gave the gamecocks the Flair jinx. Here's to an L for them.

Anonymous said...

Very creative brother.

The Nunley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Nunley said...

Flair jinx, come on I was already cursed after the BMOC, but now I am jinxed. Can I catch a break?

ehaag said...

Don't worry Adam...Rick just told your team to "walk that aisle" and reminded them that "to be the man, you have to beat the man." "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Then he gave Spurrier, Mike Davis, and Stephen Garcia a flair-chop to the loins. That's when security escorted him out of the Gamecocks' football complex...and he was never heard from again.
Since we all know that flair chops to the loins help prevent jinxes, I think you're safe.....THIS TIME!

ehaag said...

Can I just say that this dynasty is freaking awesome! I'm pumped up all day when it's "Dynasty gameday" for me! Geaux Tigers!!

The Nunley said...

hell yeah it's awesome. I love it! Flair chops rule.