Mike the Tiger, LSU's live tiger mascot, will be making the trip to Doak Campbell Stadium/Bobby Bowden Field. His mission, to poop on Bobby Bowden Field and to scare the hibbity jibbities out of Coach cjohnchavis and his team. Rumor has it that cjohnchavis and his staff have been watching Mike's Live-Tiger cam all week trying to determine a strategy to fight off the 700 lb beast.
Could this be the scene in Tallahassee this week?
Mike VI, who has served as mascot since 2007, and has exceeded his veterinarian's expectations in every possible manner. His vet says "Not only is he very handsome, with markings unlike any tiger we have ever had, but his personality is remarkable. He is extremely confident, interactive, inquisitive, and friendly toward people, except Seminoles. He appears to really want to poop on them and their football field."
"This is a concern for us," says Coach cjohnchavis. "Chief Osceola is a fierce warrior and a skilled spear thrower, but he is strongly against poaching animals. I am fearful for our team's safety. Tiger poop is huge and it stinks."
Mike VI has never traveled with the team on an away game, but is quite versed in scaring opponents in Tiger Stadium, as his cage is driven next to the visiting team's locker room before each LSU home game.
"This beast isn't afraid of anything," Coach cjohnchavis says. "He lives in a home/habitat fitting of an Alabama football player, and I'm not sure what we're going to do at this point."
To make matters worse, it appears that Coach cjohnchavis's entire family has turned their backs on the Seminoles for the purple and gold. It's been well documented that LSU Coach UTVol54 hired cjohnchavis's father Coach johnchavis as the Tigers' defensive coordinator in season 3, but who could have imagined what would happen next.
Coach johnchavis and Coach UTVOL54 discuss how funny it will be if Mike VI poops on Bobby Bowden Field
Not only is cjohnchavis's dad wearing Tiger colors, but his brother and even his newlywed wife have been spotted and photographed wearing Tiger paraphernalia.
(photos provided to RUTS PR Dept. by coach cjohnchavis)
"I'm sure on game day Mrs. cjohnchavis will be in here normal seat in the FSU coaches wives skybox, but Mrs. UTVOL54 extended the invitation for her to sit in the LSU skybox with her. I think it will be a game time decision," said LSU coach UTVol54. "It's hard NOT to love that purple and gold."
Coach cjohnchavis says the Noles will be circling the wagons, and although he wouldn't go on record as predicting a victory over the Tigers, off-the-record, he said the Noles would "win this game for sure, no doubt about it."
With all of these pre-game distractions, as well as the emotional victory in Lincoln last week, will the Noles be able to focus on the task at hand?
"We've got a score to settle with LSU,"said coach cjohnchavis. "Their signees initiated that after-prom-party fight in Houston a few months ago and we haven't forgotten it."
1 comments:
I'll get this straightened out
Post a Comment