Monday, February 14, 2011

'Gator Gump' Gets Biber Fever, Just in Time for Battle in Baton Rouge

On the eve of his team's battle with #5 LSU, Florida Head Coach, Coach Gump, made a surprise appearance at last night's Grammy Awards. After Gump's highly publicized week-long rendezvous with singer Katy Perry during week 3 of the season, he went out on a limb to purchase tickets to the Grammys on StubHub, hoping to bask in the glow of his lover's hit songs. After learning that the Perry-Gump relationship was only a evil plot to distract him from football, Gump's spirits remained high and he decided to follow through with his plans to attend the awards show in LA.

Instead of making a scene on the red carpet, and begging Perry to return to Gainesville with him, Gump did what every reasonable American would do...grew his hair out and was diagnosed with a full case of Bieber Fever.



"I know sexy when I see it," Gump said walking the red carpet last night. "My team is in Baton Rouge right now, getting ready for tomorrow's big game. But, I just had to fly out here to LA and show the world that 'Gator Gump' is back on the scene. I am pretty sure I can become the country's next sex symbol."

When asked about his fling with Katy Perry, Gump scoffed and wiped away a tear. "She broke my heart, but our team has used it as motivation." That might be true. Since the "couple" split, the Gators have been on a tirade, smashing Tennessee, Kentucky, and Ole Miss. Will the good fortune continue tonight at Tiger Stadium?

"I can only promise you two things," Gump said. "We will play hard for 4 quarters, and I will NOT be wearing a hat to cover up this hair."

0 comments: