Promising to take the program back to its once dominant state, Coach UTVOL54 signed what is currently the largest contract in the history of football (college or pro) with the Florida State Seminoles.
"This was an opportunity that I could not pass up," the Coach said. "I'm excited to earn $19.9 million per year, but I'm also excited about coming back down south to coach football. Columbus, Ohio was way too cold last year!"
Sources confirmed that South Carolina and Oregon were pursuing Coach UTVOL54 until the 11th hour, but the draw to Tallahassee was too strong. "I like coaching "State" schools...LSU, OSU, and now FSU."
Asked to comment on the Seminoles likely move to the SEC, Coach UTVOL54 shrugged and said, "I've been in the trenches in the SEC before, baby...bring it!"
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